Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Thank You For The Love Within the Ethers

"You aren't supposed to pick the flowers," she said to me. My ebullient and golden, near-perfect friend said something so strange to me.

"But you are. You ARE supposed to pick the flowers. Papa taught me to pick the flowers."

I was standing in her driveway having this conversation, looking down the gravel road at the fields of flowers.

And then I wasn't.

I was somewhere else staring ahead at the sidewalk in front of me.
There was  a grey vertical cloud a bit of a distance away, almost planted on the sidewalk.
It began to take form, shifting itself, shifting itself, ethers into human.
Clearer and clearer.

He stood there with his white hat on,  big as the benevolent, beneficent, broad and face-splitting glorious smile on his face.

He covered a mile in a moment.
He wrapped me up, a hug as deep as they come, the kind he'd always given me.
He poured his strength right into me, filling up my cracks, crevices and gaping holes, all of the dark and scary places.
I hung on for dear, sweet  life.
I hung on to the shared, the remembering, the now, all that is good, all that is sacred.

And then, he was gone.

I woke up, I could not remember where I'd been.
I breathed, it was easier. I laid there, it was quieter. I looked at the day, I had enough courage.
I remembered.

Papa had come to visit.
He had shape-shifted ether to form.
He had heard my only call, the one a few weeks back when I had finally whispered to him, "I need you."
He had wrapped me up in the big "it came to pass it didn't come to stay" hug and made me right. 

Like always.

Spirit world "come" home to me, a visit in the guise of a dream.

I do not have enough thank-you's.
Not this day, not any day.
There are never enough thank-you's for the love of this world, of the spheres and for the love that never ends.


  1. Oh, sweetest Lucie -

    How I worry about you! I'm so glad your sweet Papa could bring you comfort and the hugs I'm too far away to give you. Please remember how much you are loved. You are your Papa's child and far stronger than you know.

  2. What a blessing that your papa is there for you now and always. Thank you for sharing this beautifully written and deeply heartfelt experience. What a blessing YOU are to all of us.

  3. Lucie -- I so loved your post about dreaming about your dad. It brought tears to my eyes and reminded me so much of the many, many dreams I have regularly about my sweetheart. In my case, sometimes they're sad because even in the dream I know he's really not here or dying or something else unpleasant; other times they're so wonderful and my life feels so much more complete again. In the latter dreams, when I wake I think of the wonderful Shakespearean phrase from The Tempest:

    ...and then in dreaming
    The clouds methought would open and show riches
    Ready to drop upon me, that when I waked
    I cried to dream again.

    I can't tell you how many times I have cried to dream again...